Different strokes to different folks, I do respect that. I’m on the side of the folks who believe in marriage. View on this can be rooted and was solidified based on personal experiences, family background & personal satisfaction. Back on college days, i would hear a lot of superficial declaration that she will not get married unless she becomes successful. Nobody would agree nor negate, who would care anyways but those were the age when our principle is not as strong as we thought we were. Each of us has different definition of success so the connotation of equating success with profession is a complete fallacy.
Another scenario of women who pre-imposed that they would never get married but would end being one is something understandable for me. As one of the factors that I mentioned- personal satisfaction, plays a big role on this situations. There can be a stage in life when one feels secure and “thought satisfied” being in a relationship without the blessing and commitment of marriage. Change is inevitable and constant and when the point comes when level of satisfaction of the woman points her to the direction that she thought one would not cruise, unimaginable change can happen. Satisfying oneself psychologically to the sense of security when old and gray is a big push to that unimaginable change. It has been in the discussion of The View when Joy Behar was teased about her change of mind in getting married with live-in partner of twenty years. Joy points out the pratical aspects that made her decide in getting married soon. The question of “who will pull the plug?!”, legally the spouse has the right to do it, even when it can be written at times this can be contested. Well, this is one of the factors but for me if the couple is thinking of being together and can foresee the years ahead why not legally bind it and live the title of being married. Never focus on what will happen, things that will happen is something beyond our control. Life has time to deal on those when it happen. The substance of security is alone can be satisfying to a woman and I believe with men too.
The fear that the marriage will not work should not be the reason why one avoids the “M” word. There is no such thing as assurance that a couple could live happily ever after. Nobody knows, not a single soul. Risk is fifty percent of the package when one take a plunge.
When one say past is past… this also applies that whatever negative things happened before will not meant to happen again. Oh yes! it may happen but the thing is it may not too!… I believe that using your best judgment alongside your heart can be a fierce weapon to avoid the history repeating itself.
Family’s mistakes can be a very big factor is perceiving marriage. A wise adult though should and must learn from our root’s mistakes. Instead of focusing the shield of fear we should focus on strengthening the factors that made them weak and volatile. Create a strong principle by living the life not of perfection but life without the flaw that you saw from your folks who broke you apart.
Married life is beautiful. The problems that comes with it makes us a better and ultimately a wise person. Being tagged as intellectual is far less substantial than being called a wise man for me. Yes, at times it’s painful but only after those days you can taste a better perspective in life, making us stronger to face life and fore mostly giving us reasons how we should live a wonderful life. Well, as of to date, I love my marriage life!
Tags: Opinions